Across the Sea
by CherryXBOMBxx
Summary: *MASSIVE SPOILERS*This is the story of how I imagined my Lucy Shepard to have felt in her final moments alive. It's a short depiction of her final scenes, plus a new one ;some romance;thaneXshepard-
1. Finding Yourself

"I'm proud of you, child," were his last words. Shepard inwardly winced at the gravity of his tone, the immeasurable weight of those words. The endearment, the unmasked sensation, all military formalities forgotten in the final moments. She groaned in pain and shifted in her position upon the floor, trying in vain to find a location that would permit her relaxation without subjecting one of her many injuries to strain. Lucy sat, utterly bloodied, broken, but certainly not beaten...

She turned to him, struggling to find words that would pull him from his stupor, the one that she had seen occur before, moments before death in too many of her friends. The one that you cannot come back from, but remain in for only a few moments. Though they feel like they span multiple cycles.

It was in vain. All of it, her mindless shifting, her words of comfort, protesting death, fighting the reapers. It had to be in vain, or all the struggle and death so far would have to come to mean something she wasn't ready to comprehend. Lucy would've much rather slipped away from the titles, the fleets, the insurmountable responsibility, and endless inability. Slipped away from consciousness into a world of tattered, shadowy dreams that seemed to constantly mock her inability to save everyone...or anyone. She could chase that damned child until the last gasping breath left her lungs. "A fitting way to die," the thought came bitterly as Lucy plagued herself with the memories of the awful dreams. Shadows never formally materializing but always speaking. "That hell would be better than this one," the small, voice came from the back of her mind. She supposed it was meant to be a comforting thought, though barely. "You could slip away, fall asleep and be with your shadows."

A voice crackled through to her. Ripped through her dismal thoughts and reminded her that, though it dwindled and wavered significantly, there was still hope. And though forces were diminishing by the second, a resistance still existed. Though the message that broke through to her added another terrifying weight to her already overburdened shoulders.

"Shepard...Shepard! Damnit the Crucible isn't firing!"

Admiral Hackett's voice found her in her dismal selfishness and reminded her of her responsibility. Reminded her of her firmly held belief that their sacrifices were not for naught and that failure was never before less of an option. She found herself again, in that crumpled broken mess next to the body of a man who had led the resistance through darker times.

Lucy was instantly disgusted with herself for such selfish thinking. Such self absorbed notions as to leave those alive behind and submit herself to her injuries, while the body of Captain Anderson, a man who struggled against the reapers every day and led the failing resistance remained beside her.

That was the main motivation that got her moving. Not simply the notion that another needed her, but that had Captain Anderson seen her slipping away he would've rimed her. That thought almost made her smile as she struggled in a half limp, half crawl across the platform to the light console that acted as a beacon for her efforts. The platform seemed to stretch on for miles as she made her way slowly across it, all the while attempting to form a cohesive sentence by which to respond to Hackett...the cohesiveness never came, but her journey across the platform eventually came to an utterly exhausting end.


	2. The Choices Revealed

"I'm moving...higher," Shepard thought as she attempted to ground her thoughts. She had never remembered being quite so fragile as to be almost put out of commission by Harbinger. This thought succeeded in bringing a smile to her face and pushed her to her feet, where she was greeted by an astonishingly familiar child.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Lucy struggled to make sense of his words, or his being.

"Who...are you?" she responded though not as demanding.

"I am the Catalyst, the Citadel."

Lucy would've rolled her eyes had she not been so astonished. This was the boy in her dream...the boy from earth...what was he doing here? Explaining to her the order of the galaxy, the inability for synthetics and organics to live together? Ultimate destruction as an inevitable conclusion? The creator of the reapers? "Well, Harbinger never mentioned you as he was casually assuming direct control," Lucy thought bitterly.

"But you're taking away our hope! Without hope, we are no better than machines taking orders!" Lucy exclaimed, in response to his allegations.

"You don't need hope."

"Simple enough response when you don't have a good one..." Lucy again thought bitterly, but kept her mouth shut as she had so seldom done before.

The Catalyst continued his rant of seemingly omnipotent wisdom. Claiming to know the outcome that every species would eventually fall victim too. Knowing each species better than they knew themselves.

"You were young before, that's why we left you alone during the last extinction. You needed time to grow. Now you need to move aside."

"This is all very convenient thinking for an entity that has massive droves of reapers at their disposal," but again...she kept her mouth shut. The desperation of her situation, and every advanced species' situation, was growing rapidly higher. Climbing to almost insurmountably high levels.

Lucy listened with rapt attention when the entity explained to her her options. Somewhere during his speech Lucy lost her pain. Lost her injuries. She became numb with anticipation, knowing the inevitable outcome.

Instantly upon his completed explanation Lucy began her perilous limp. She came to the fork of three options that would end the war, though none would allow her to keep herself. Selfishly as this thought erupted Lucy began to again desire the comforts of succumbing to her injuries, though that was not one of the options the entity had given her...

No, instead her eyes flickered left, middle, right. Left, middle, right. Control, merge with, destroy. Control, merge, destroy. Control.


	3. The Walk of Years

It seemed as if this walk was far longer and far more paining than any she had experienced...It seemed to span an amount of time longer than all of her years of life. Lifting her legs became the equivalent to lifting lead weights. Her bones screamed in resistance with every step forward. Her muscles tired with the effort and reminded her endlessly of their years of use.

Feros, the first defining moment of her career, where she had careened ruthlessly and was constantly reminded of it. Liara's voice whispered softly, overrun almost immediately by a shout from Grunt.

Noveria where she had spoken to the rachni queen and made a loosely termed contract dictating the rachni's survival. Tali spoke in her dutiful way, apologizing as she fell forward off of a cliff of her homeworld

Mordin disappeared into an elevator that would take him to his death, a smile on his face and whispering his song softly. The Prothean beacon that melded with her consciousness, making her forget where she ended and where the prothean's began.

Chasing down Saren with a group she had never imagined could exist, regardless of her years in the military. A group that she would entrust with not only her own life, but the lives of everyone in the universe. Legion fell to her feet, his memories fading as the bullet wound's damage became evident.

Recruiting her team after her death and rebuild. Jack's suffering, Samara's relentless code. Garrus's ability to...calibrate...It almost made her move faster, the lead weights lifting a little easier, until a thought stopped her cold. Froze her midway up the ramp to the control panel.

Thane. Her reminiscence had done nothing but made her numb, give her fuzzy consciousness something to focus on. Somewhere to hold on to. Thane brought a stunning clarity, that was promptly blurred again by a shining layer of tears. Tears had not graced her cheeks in years, she would not allow it. But now, her body crumpled and almost defeated and humans on the brink of extinction, she needed that thought.

The words of his last e-mail blazed through her mind, seared there forever by the countless times she had read it. "I love you, if all else whispers back into the tide know this for a fact." She trembled and took another step, his face coming to her mind's eye as vividly as if she had had the memory of a Drell. "You awoke me, Shepard." Lucy's trembling footsteps became more grounded. Feeling the solid ramp pushing up against her feet, feeling gravity's pull as something easily overcome. "I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to succeed in your destiny." She smiled, the tears still falling, as her foot found level ground. The light in front of Lucy's eyes seemed to tremble and fade, shaking as a shadow formed around the edges of her vision. She struggled, feeling the weigh of her injuries. Though now, they seemed distant, far off, something that could hinder her progress, but not stop her...never stop her.

Just that much. A final stretch. Nothing more than a couple of feet. Lucy brushed back a few stray strands of hair that had been plaguing her eyes in addition to her wavering consciousness's vagrant shadowed attempts at blinding her. "To light your path through the coming darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost." All did seem lost. She was lost...But no, that's not right. "I am right where I am meant to be." The thought brought her comfort. Lucy knew herself, she knew her mission, and she knew this was not lost. She knew he was lighting her path, even now, probing his Drell gods to give her the guidance and ability she'd need to make it to that damned console.

Lucy trudged forward, slower now, with more resistance, but also more resolve. Her movements became painfully methodical, allowing her to go only so fast, but never too slow. She finally was within grasp of the console, the sputtering blue flashes that filled her blurred vision were somewhat of a comfort, at least she could see what would be taking her life. No surprises. "I once accepted my fate. Nothing remained but a shell destined to die." Lucy smiled at that. Thane was always profoundly intelligent, but could he have predicted the amount of clarity his words would now have?

She smiled softly and reached out. The pain was almost unbearable, ripping through her on a molecular level, threatening to tear her apart into the smallest, most minuscule pieces. She tried to scream but no sound came out. Her muscles felt as if they were being pricked by a pin that had been recently held above a flame. A thousand...no million needles held her in place. One hand broke free, and the process stopped. The pain ebbed slightly and Lucy found new resolve. Grasping firmly onto the handles once again the pain recommenced, but it didn't last. Soon the threat to rip her apart became a promise, and then a distinct action. Lucy felt herself fading away in the most screamingly painful manner possible, felt her struggles come to an abrupt end and felt her tears burn her cheeks.

"I will await you across the sea. "


	4. Across the Sea

The sea? That's what he said...but she had fallen apart. No, not fallen. Been ripped by..some kind of energy..The reapers? Catalyst? Where was Captain Anderson? Tali? Legion? Thane...?

A sea?

"Open..."

Lucy couldn't breathe but for some reason, that thought didn't bother her.

"Open!"

Everything felt heavy. Movements...Could she move? Yes, but it was difficult...she was standing, wasn't she?

"Open!"

It felt like there was a heavy weight upon her, but not one she had felt before. It seemed almost comforting. Not like the responsibility of the reapers, not like her armor upon her back...It felt like a heavy blanket. One that swore to protect her even though no worse would ever happen.

"OPEN!"

Her eyes finally obeyed her. Bright green beacons in the midst of a gray sea. No, it wasn't gray, it was blue. She could see the surface. Lucy was coming to it, there was sunshine, but no sun, just shine. Just a brightness at the surface and she began to swiftly kick, propelling herself upwards. Lucy broke the surface, and breathed deeply, though she had not been wanting for breath. Her hair fell around her face in wet tendrils. Her head whipped around, looking for Across. Though Lucy had yet to acknowledge it, she knew exactly what had happened, and chose to push it away. It was the first time she had failed to acknowledge the threat, and she felt damn good about it.

Her eyes narrowed in, she found Across. A small strip of green a couple hundred yards off. Lucy swam gracefully with a newfound strength, one that rippled through her and resonated with purity. She smiled happily at the feeling of the cool water against her skin, the cleanliness it provided, it's ability to wash away any and all things, visible or not. Lucy kicked all the harder the closer she got...she saw a small figure coming into her line of sight. It became clearer. Clearer. Clearer, until her feet were able to touch the sandy ground and she stood. The beauty of the place overwhelmed her, though she could not identify exactly what was so beautiful. It was a comfort, an everlasting feeling that she hadn't experienced...ever in her memory. A feeling of warmth...consistency...safety...a feeling of absolute and unwavering peace. That's what this place had given her. Something Lucy had been fighting for for years upon years. There was no war, never in a place such as this. Never the subjugation of one race to another. No struggle. No pain. No fear. No conflict. Just brightness, love, and him..there...waiting for her.

Lucy walked slowly, her steps not wavering but almost not believing the sight. There he stood. Smiling with a beautiful sadness at the sight of her. By the time she reached him Lucy should have been overcome with the brilliance of the scene, but instead her eyes saw nothing but him.

Yet she was still overcome.

"My Siha, I was hoping you wouldn't come...not so soon. Though I can see you succeeded." He took her hands gently, coaxing her from the shore line, onto the dry sand.

"Thane...You have no idea, the rea-" he shook his head gently, his movements forgiving.

"Siha, you have fought so long and so hard. You have faced defeat at every turn, every corner, and found a way to prevail. This is not the time for recounting. I saw everything, I guided you as best I could. I prayed for you, I even visited you when death was closing in. You must not think of that right now."

Lucy paused, saying nothing but drinking him in. Taking in every aspect of him, every part of him. His voice, his touch, the things that made her love him.

"You waited for me..."

"Always Siha, I told you, across the sea."


End file.
